I am passed the point of pissed and understanding… 27 February 2007

so, now, apparently, i’m racist. It has been suggested to me–by a parent– that i don’t/won’t help her child because she is white. too pissed to even go further…

Never in my life.. 26 February 2007

Yesterday was my first full day. I believe had homicide been an available discipline option…I would have used it and had NO regrets. None. Not a one. And it doesn’t bother me. The only thing that actually bothers me is the fact that it DOESN’T bother me.

Guys, they acted like I wasn’t even here. I finally had to tell them: “Do you realize that no one else in this school gives a damn about you? That when they talk about my 5th & 6th period PreAlgebra classes the only things they say about you is don’t worry. If they are in 9th grade and in PreAlgebra then they have no hope anyway? what about that don’t you get?!!” And you know, one of the girls laughed in my face. People. I’d started walking towards her aisle without realizing it. And one of mystudents saved her fellow students life…”miss holmes–would you come help me with this problem??” I went over there and she steered me towards my desk and another student blocked me in. I just started writing up folks left and right. And I know I was pissed because I had this weird smile on my face and was humming the whole time.

I finally said you know what? I just don’t care anymore. I don’t. I don’t give a damn what you do…whether you come to class or not…no bumping up your grades to “60″. No more extra credit. I don’t care if you know it or not.

*sigh* I have a headache. I’m not to the point where I am questioning my decision to teach or not, but Atlanta is looking very tempting right now.

I am still hackin’ up a damn lung 18 February 2007

would NOT wish this on anybody. *sigh* This has given me time to study for the Praxis and get started on the kids’ website though. speaking of which: gonna take Praxis II first…and the Praxis I the very next week so wish me luck! I am also actively pursuing admittance into MC instead of ASU as my first choice. I have everything in ‘cept my Praxis scores and scholarship app…

how is my friend doing, you ask? well…he’s doin quite fine, thankya kindly!

Dagnabbit…got the danged flu 15 February 2007

dude. have not gotten this crap since i was a kid. i am SO not feeling well right now. and a lil pissed cause i found out one of my classes acted like plumb donkeys for the substitute today. they just dont know that when i get back….*seethes with pissivity*

In other news, i got a lot of feedback from my last post. as a friend of mine would say, “hmmm…interesting…”

“thou shalt not use my kids against me” 12 February 2007

this should be a commandment
cause’ I’ll be damned if ex-spouses are
ruining my friends’ lives.

“i can use them for tax purposes, but I can’t let you see them”
has to be the prevailin’ thought. better yet i can hock them for
$1500 a head.

The marriages are over, for all intents and purposes.
I could’ve sworn you all went to your own corners of the room
for a specific reason.

“…But I’ll be DAMNED if I see another_________on your arm…”
Destiny’s lone author couldn’t have said it better.
Can’t stand to see you with someone else.
And somehow
MY destiny is intertwined with these lives….my ears are burning,
my chest is seething with hate, blades under tongues, and knives
on my passenger seat without my recollection.

All of a sudden…people are babysitting, visitation is increased,
but you can’t stay to see your babies’ blow out their “I’m t(h)ree”
bornday candles.

You can’t pick them up from daycare, but the text message reads
“i need some.”

And you sick phucks get away with this…all because of little voices chirpin’
“where’s daddy” and unnecessary guilt pullin on dna heartstrings.

….don’t make the same mistake twice.

I…don’t…remember 6 February 2007

I don’t remember it being like this. More sexual innuendos
than abstinence and less like storybook Happily Ever After Land.
Well…actually
the scene is quite familiar

You wanted me, I didn’t want you
I loved you, so I pushed you away.

Gave you up for the happiness of 2 friends
I felt together would bring me happiness too

And then you left. Left me and moved on
so I moved on moved back continued with my life

my ups and downs…my “he had a baby but it isn’t…mine(s)…
steadily kicking myself the whole time.

First kisses 6 years too late but not too soon
and now it seems i want you, you might want me,
and I’m falling for you
but the everyday phone
calls seem to
be getting
shorter.