I love hard. 8 October 2007

I’m starting to see that as a damn crime.  I need to find something else to put on my mind other than him.  A hobby…something.  ‘Cause this can’t be healthy.  He holds the key…to everything.  *shrugs* I sometimes envy the fact that he has so much going on.  Don’t mistake it: I don’t think i’m competing for his time…goodness no.  And if I did, that would NOT be fair to him at all.  He’s got a lot on his plate and I am proud of him for it.  I just…love hard.

“Hun, are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this old woman?” and the answer was…yes.  Followed by, “why?  Why do you ask that?”  I don’t know anymore if I had a reason or not.  I do know it wasn’t formed from insecurity.  What does it matter anyway.  I’m in love *shrugs* or a reasonable facsimile of it.  Ain’t that some shyt.  I want to pray for him…take some things off his mind…claim things for him…help–not hurt–his thought processes..help him make the right decisions (not out of bias..not solely out of love either)…i just..i just

need.