I mean really, a title? Yeesh….

i roll over and you’re not
there.  no inhale to catch my exhale. 
no smothering me or grabbin my hair
in your sleep.  no pretzels.  no rubbing
my leg with your feet.  no
“i love waking up next to you in the morning..”

and i think it’s just me.

i lay in the bed a lil longer
prayin to fall back asleep.  but
you never show.  no lick up
my back to wake me up.  no ringing
of my doorbell. no knocking at my door.
no key in my lock.  that wasn’t your car i heard.
that wasn’t your door that slammed.
my dunks beside the bed.  my tshirts
& my phone. no nibbles on my lip to
last me until next time.

and…i think it’s just me.

the shower’s running.
but it’s my hair i wash.  my
body i scrub.  that spot on
my back just won’t get reached.
my hair and body i rinse.  my
fro that gets picked.  i know
my sight is bad but my mind
should be clear.

and i think…wonder…if it’s just me.

my bitch won’t let the lil bitch
in me speak up.  i want you.  we’ve
hardly talked the past few days and
you’ve not been over inna week.  not
because you don’t want to.  i knew
of your responsibilities when we got
together. your job, job, and school
won’t allow our kind of needed freedom.
and i’m knowing you’re not happy.  job,
job, and school won’t allow it.  and you’re
so stubborn.  so the bitches in me are
worryin about you. which means i don’t
have time for lil bitch.  i have
a Blessing to support. to keep strong.
there’s only 1 thing….

as my tears write these words…
cause i can’t see my hands anymore,
i realize this:  i’m missing you.

let this/my weakness be our secret.

2007.11.09 @12:44 p.m.

[babe. are you happy?  No...but it has nothing at all to do with us.]