I mean really, a title? Yeesh….

will you be my husband
to have & to hold
for happiness and not so happy days
thru ups & downs
in sickness & in health
of mind body & soul
’til we leave this earth &
after….

[my fone rings]
“hey!”
“hey…”
“what’s up?”
“…of course I will dear…”

[damn a ceremony...i just want a "do you & do you"]

There’s gotta be a way…has to be….

Lord…please show ‘Rifa the path that she must follow with this man.  You know where her heart lies…so help her out.  Also, please give Silas & strength, wisdom, and guidance in all things concerning you & our relationship…Give him peace of mind about the decisions he’s having to make…and clarity on the correct one.  Please let me see/know who I need to fire in my life.  It’s time for an October “Spring Cleaning” and I need to make sure I’m booting the right debris…Grant me strength and give me guidance in all things concerning my job & these life decisions that right now seem to have me at a roadblock.  Thank you…and Amen.

PS: Help me BE and DO better…..

I finally get out of the house and get hit on 2-3 times all beginning or ending with: you married?? you got a boyfriend? (yes) Oh. So, you happy? (the happiest i’ve been in a LONG time)

I don’t get it. It used to be enough to tell someone that yes, you are, in fact in SOME kind of relationship…not anymore apparently. THEN…i had a former suitor FINALLY admit to me that he “phucked up”. Got nervous, thought i was TOO nice, was getting TOO close and was waiting for me to be a stalker or some shyt. And now he’s mad….but admits he can’t trip–because i’m VERY happy. So, he sends a message to my hun basically saying that if he [my hun] phucks up then he will be RIGHT there waiting on me and ready to get his second chance.

As soon as I get home and get settled, my fone rings. It’s my hun. and the VERY first thing he says in lieu of saying hello: i miss yo mf’in ass. And I wholeheartedly agreed (i haven’t seen him since damn Monday morning).

I, being the dutiful young lady I am, passed the message along. My hun? Well, he responds: babe, tell him he wasted 3 minutes of his life telling you that cause i ain’t going nowhere.

Damnit, I love that man….

Name: Semloh
Age: 27
Objective: Fall in love again for the first time

My life could exist solely to hold you.
I can’t imagine needin anything more
than that.

I don’t want to need you, but isn’t a
craving just a primal need?

Is it possible to feel loved & lonely at
the same time?

Or “full” for reason you don’t know
why and can’t explain…

The safest place for me is laying
in your
arms.

I found a coupla pieces i wrote back in August that i thought i’d posted…so here you go.

—————————————————–
Something in my mind keeps
reminding me…that I’m not ready
to love again. Or
maybe the problem/issue is
i am too ready…to love…again.

i trust him: completely…truly
madly deeply I [am fallin in]
love him i do. So who am i attempting
to justify this claim to??
… continue reading this entry.